pinkaay.eaesthetics.com

It’s been quite a while since I’ve posted anything…but my mind has been too active to let all my thoughts just swarm around in the busy beehive called my brain….I call this, “In My Head”….

In this mind of mine, there are too many thoughts,
so much thinking that my mind gets caught.

In this brain of mine, there are too many meanings,
my imagination going crazy and messing with my feelings.

In this head of mine, there’s too much going on,
trying to figure out where I truly belong.

In this mind of mine, I feel like I’m going crazy,
I wish these thoughts of mine would just stop and be lazy.

In this brain of mine, it’s truly a tricky thing to get,
gambling with my heart like it’s one big bet.

In this head of mine, forgetting about the pain is so hard to do,
I constantly remind myself of it and think of it through and through.

In this mind of mine, I feel like I’m gonna always get hurt,
so my jealousy haunts me, even with one little flirt.

In this brain of mine, I feel like everyone’s the same,
one day they’ll end up hurting me and playing me like a game.

In this head of mine, the thoughts feel like they’ll never go away,
they always come back around, even when I put them at bay.

In this heart of mine, I hope that all of this isn’t true,
and that I’ll find true happiness and these thoughts will be through.

Today’s a day for giving thanks,
a day to share with your loved ones.
Today’s a day for giving thanks,
a day to eat like a glutton.

What does it mean to be thankful?
Is it to say thank you for everything you got?
Being thankful is not just for saying thanks,
but for appreciating a life that could not be bought.

There’s no way around it,
there will always be good and bad.
There are times that you will be happy,
and times that you will be sad.

So the question is asked, why are you thankful?
What are you thankful for?

I am thankful for those in my life,
the family and friends I hold so dear.
I am thankful for my life experiences,
the great and the bad that most others fear.

Because if not for those experiences,
I don’t know who I would be.
Because all the things I have been through,
caused me to be the person you see.

You all have been a part of my life,
some big, some small.
But in the end of all of it,
I’m thankful for it all.

Yesterday, a few family members, friends, and myself went to go check out Orlando’s  Zombie Adventure.  Let me first start off by saying, we had a BLAST!  You’re basically going through the woods in the dark with a group of 20 people while zombies come out of no where to scare you.  It lasts anywhere from 1 hr 20 min to 1 hr 40 min and you’re walking though 12 acres of woods with only one flashlight that isn’t used after some time.  You start off with a paintball gun that you use to shoot the hell out of the zombies.  This part was awesome because the zombies don’t have guns, so you’re just lighting them up!  After a while, you run out of ammo….and just when you think you’re going to reload to continue killing zombies, they tell you to leave your guns behind and we have to go through the rest of the woods unarmed.  At one point zombies came up behind us and we didn’t know what to do, so we all started running in panic since we were unarmed.  We had no idea where to go so we were running aimlessly in the dark in a group.  I grabbed my cousin’s hand and some random guy’s hand that I didn’t know and we all just ran!  After a bit the zombies backed off and we reformed back together and continued through the woods while zombies followed us and scared us through the whole way.

The Bio Techs

I honestly think it is better than Halloween Horror Nights.  There’s no lines and plus you get to shoot zombies (real people) and how often can you do that?! :]  Our adventure lasted almost 2 hours that I say was definitely worth it.  I wish we would’ve got more shooting time, but going through the woods unarmed gave me quite the scare.  I recommend it to anyone looking for fun and a scare.

Throughout my life, I haven’t traveled very much. Traveling all over the world has always been a dream of mine. I want to explore how others live, not only in different cities, but different states, countries, islands, continents, you name it! Within the past few years, I’ve traveled out of Orlando more than I have in my whole life.

A little history on Pinky: I was born in Manhattan, NY. I lived there and in Yonkers for a bit until my fam moved down here to Orlando…where we’ve been ever since…same house and all.

I get these cravings and wants to travel and take vacations. Most likely because work and school = normal day to day life and I want more excitement other than Orlando. My list of places I’ve been is pretty pathetic, but some places I’m so glad I got to see and would visit again.

Visited

Florida:  Daytona Beach, Cocoa Beach, New Symrna Beach, Clearwater, Key West, Jacksonville, Pensacola, St. Augustine, Tampa, Ft. Lauderdale

Las Vegas

Washington DC

Boston

Bahamas

Puerto Rico

New York

Cruise to Jamaica and Cayman Islands

Desired Destinations

Chicago

California

New Jersey

Philly

Hawaii

Mexico

Dominican Republic

Amsterdam

Australia

Japan

China

Spain

Italy

Brazil

….just to get the list started <3

Lupe Fiasco is one of my favorite artists. To see hip-hop artists these days still making music with a message just gives me hope that music isn’t doomed to just club bangers and music to dance to. Not only does his songs have meaning and/or a story behind it, but his new album Lasers is about change in our world today and how we can try to make this world a better place to live.

Check out his new track: Shining Down by Lupe Fiasco ft. Matthew Santos

TO EVERY MAN, WOMAN & CHILD: WE WANT AN END TO THE GLAMORIZATION OF NEGATIVITY IN THE MEDIA | WE WANT AN END TO THE STATUS SYMBOLS DICTATING OUR WORTH AS INDIVIDUALS | WE WANT A MEANINGFUL AND UNIVERSAL EDUCATION SYSTEM | WE WANT SUBSTANCE IN THE PLACE OF POPULARITY | WE WILL NOT COMPROMISE WHO WE ARE TO BE ACCEPTED BY THE CROWD | WE WANT THE INVISIBLE WALLS THAT SEPARATE BY WEALTH, RACE & CLASS TO BE TORN DOWN | WE WANT TO THINK OUR OWN THOUGHTS | WE WILL BE RESPONSIBLE FOR OUR ENVIRONMENT | WE WANT CLARITY & TRUTH FROM OUR ELECTED OFFICIALS OR THEY SHOULD MOVE ASIDE | WE WANT LOVE NOT LIES | WE WANT TO END ALL WARS FOREIGN & DOMESTIC VIOLENCE | WE WANT AN END TO THE PROCESSED CULTURE OF EXPLOITATION, OVER-CONSUMPTION & WASTE | WE WANT KNOWLEDGE, UNDERSTANDING & PEACE | WE WILL NOT LOSE BECAUSE WE ARE NOT LOSERS, WE ARE LASERS! | LASERS ARE THE OPPOSITE OF LOSERS | LASERS ARE SHINING BEAMS OF LIGHT THAT BURN THROUGH THE DARKNESS OF IGNORANCE | LASERS SHED LIGHT ON INJUSTICE AND INEQUALITY | LOSERS STAND BY AND LET THINGS HAPPEN. LASERS ACT AND SHAPE THEIR OWN DESTINIES | LASERS FIND MEANING AND DIRECTION IN THE MYSTERIES ALL AROUND THEM | LASERS STAND FOR LOVE AND COMPASSION | LASERS STAND FOR PEACE | LASERS STAND FOR PROGRESSION | LASERS ARE REVOLUTIONARY | LASERS ARE THE FUTURE

— Love Always Shines Every time Remember 2 Smile -LF

WeAreNotLosers

Today marks the last day of summer for me and it’s back to school tomorrow.  This year so far has had many ups and downs and it amazes me how fast this year has come and is now almost done.  With experiences and situations that have occurred, I have come to realize who’s real, who’s fake, and those that have proved to me that they care about me and are truely genuine when they say that they are my friend.  So many people in a lifetime will walk in and out of your life, some will leave a mark and some will leave an experience.  Either way, they may or may not be in your life or important in the future.  There may be a person that was once close but then once their true colors show, it completely changes the relationship you have with them.  On the other hand, there may be someone that has always been behind the scenes and then later prove that they are truely genuine, humble, and turn out to be this amazing person that has been there the whole time.  But that’s just the way life is.

My main focus now remains the same: school.  Although I’ve been having some issues with getting all the financials situated so I can continue to attend and finish sooner rather than later, I know I still have to do my best and put all stresses aside to achieve a major goal in my life.  Work is busy busy and I’ve been trying to focus on a promotion and on being on my best behavior to ensure I’ll have a job to pay the bills.  Things tend to get a little stressful for me at times and I try to maintain but I know there are select few that I can go to for support or even just to get my mind off things and just have a good time.

My family is an amazing, crazy, fun bunch that once we’re together, it’s nothing but good times that we have.  All of it is drama free and you can just feel the happy vibe in the atmosphere.  I love my family very much and I’m glad they are the way they are.  My select friends that I associate myself with now, are an awesome few that I have my own bond with and I feel I can be myself around with no judgments.  I’m sure the people know who they are because I try to hang with them on the regular or at least communicate with them….they know I love em ^_^

All in all, life may have its issues, stresses, and whatnot, but I continue to try to keep my head up and not let the little things keep me down.  Which reminds me of a quote I recently said and I will use again to bring this to a close…

Life is too short to be sad, down, and worry about things that won’t matter later. That’s why I start my day off with a smile and I’m grateful that I have people in my life that truly care and I know will keep bad things away.

the regulars that keep me smiling <3

I constantly quote this song by The Roots on status updates and even in conversation. The song Clock With No Hands has so many meanings to me and I’ve been able to apply the lyrics to different situations in my life. This is one of the reasons why I love old school artists such as The Roots and many others of that time when they were poppin because of messages behind their music rather than the garbage we hear on the air today. So…since I love this song and I will forever quote it, I figured I would post it not only to express my love for it, but for your enjoyment as well.

Lyrics

[Black Thought]
Yeah, sitting in the staircase, holding back tears
Looking over mad years worth of photographs
Pictures of some places I ain’t never going back
Some people I used to love, why I ain’t show them that?
The skies was overcast, when I was sober last
My head is spinning, couldn’t tell you if it’s slow or fast
It’s starting to get too clear, I got to go and grass
To y’all it’s a shame but life is what we know it as
Waiting, navigating the plot, without plans
In the car, it’s hard to read as a clock with no hands
How your man’s goin’ get up and stop with no yams
All it take is one break, it could pop the program
Whether sinning or not, my back bending like I’m sentenced a lot
I feel some brothers is beginning to plot
It might have been a close friend I forgot
Who started up and ain’t remember to stop
I bet these niggaz going remember the shop

[Hook]
People think that I’m crazy, just cause I wanna be alone
You can’t depend on friends to help you in a squeeze
We all deal with shit on our own
And sometimes the beef can grow, get out of hand
Yeah, you know it gets full blown
I never said that you mean the world to me
Maybe it’s best that you never know

Yo, I’m like Malcom out the window with the weapon out
Searching for somehow to find a minute or the second now
Precious time is money that I ain’t got to mess about
Need it from the horse’s mouth or from my eye with less account
Lessons with my back to the wall, scoping my session out
Stay a little edgy at times when I ain’t stressing bout
Haters don’t know shit about me, they the ones that talk shit
Those that love me send it out, so I ain’t got to force quit
Cause I’m doing better now, don’t mean I never lost shit
I was married to a state of mind and I divorced it, man
I’m from where brothers moving product from the porches
People locking their doors, clutching to their crosses
The block hot by the law, there ain’t too many choices
So what I do is for y’all, there ain’t too many voices left
I watch my back, and watch my step
And I might forgive, but I will not forget come on

[Hook]

Yo, living in turbulent times
The blind leading the blind
Some call it evolution, some say intelligent design
You say you want a revolution, you out of your mizind
Your sons’ destitute, and their pops all in the prison
My man’s back in the jam, he like the back of my hand
He just attracted to scam, he right back in the can
I never sleepwalking, you dig
You get your shuteye
I’m on the first thing in, I’m leaving on the red-eye
My brother back in rehab, just had another relapse
But fin himself, it’s been like he’s been fighting an energy
Half telling me nobody true when they pretend to be that
So closer than friends, that’s where I keep my enemy at
To many parties concerned, it’s time to live it and learn
Until we’re able to grow, forever bridges we burn
My thoughts free as a bird, that’s just about to emerge
And every action is heard, it speaks louder than words, yo

[Hook]

July was a bit crazy for me and a lot happened throughout the month, in which, some events I will mention and others I choose to leave out.  I’m pretty much done with summer school, all I have left is a 3 page paper to write and have in by 6pm Tuesday.  I’m not stressing about it.  The class was an easy A and I’ve gotten nothing but A’s on everything I’ve turned in, except for 1 B, but I know I’m straight.

July 17-20 was an experience I will not forget.  Myself, my bestfriend Rich, and 2 good friends of mine went up to Boston, MA to visit our boy Skooby and see his baby.  The trip had it’s ups and downs but more ups than anything to make a trip that I will not forget.  I fell in love with the city life.  There was just something about it that captured my heart.  On our trip we made so many memories:  inside jokes, callin out all the Beemers we saw [because they were everywhere], walking around and exploring the city, eating delicious Chinese food from a hole-in-the-wall spot, drinks, Club Felt, chillin on the stoop, photoshoots, random conversations, singing songs, and it was just a great trip overall.

[[Big thanks to Ritchi who made it all possible! TY for everything you did for me!]]

Boston, MA

Falling in love with the city

Boston Crew: Shabbah, RPC, KC, & Pinkaay

Throughout July, I’ve also been working like a slave at work, trying to hustle my members to meet my goals.  At first I was worried I wouldn’t make my required points but I ended up exceeding the requirement and I will be looking forward to an extra $200 on the paycheck. :D

There are some people that have definately helped make my life easier and are helping me get back to my happy state that I was once in before.  I know who my real friends are and know who I need to keep near and dear to my heart.  I’ve had some minor issues with one of them, but we always seem to work them out.  Others have just shown me a great time and they fill my heart with joy when I am with them.  There has been unfortunate situations that occurred this past month that caused me to reflect on what has happened from now to a year ago, and let me tell you, a lot has happened.  It just really sucks that certain situations that have happened are preventing me from hanging out with other people that I’m cool with because I’m not really on good terms with select few.  The select few happened to be my main social circle last year which has now fallen apart but they are constantly with my other friends which leaves me as the oddball of the situation.  It really urks me, this whole situation, and I wish things didn’t have to be this way but there are valid reasons of why they did.  It is what it is, not much I can do.  I did nothing wrong in except for explain how I feel yet it came to this and now I’m the one that is suffering.  Ugh.

I’m tired of drama.  I’m just trying to enjoy life with the people I care about yet situations prevent me from doing so.

Time for a life check…time to go new places, experience new things, meet new people, and leave the past behind.  This girl is only moving forward, and the drama in the past can go fly a kite.

Today was a steady Tuesday, like normal until a new character decided to entertain myself and co-workers with his presence.  A man walks in with a bag full of clothes and other surprises that you will soon hear about.  This guy walks in and starts loudly asking every person he could see if they had a cigarette.  One member that I was about to help said, “I don’t smoke cigarettes” and as he continued to ask everyone he ran into he says “damn, does anyone in America still smoke?  I just want to buy a cigarette.”  So I look at my co-worker who’s sitting at the front desk and she is wide-eyed and trying to contain her laughter just as I was.  This guy proceed to sign in at the desk, putting in the “other” category, money.  I saw this and told my co-worker, “what does he think, we’re just giving money away and he’s coming to pick it up?”  So as I took my member in the office to help her, I saw this guy go outside and ask everyone in the parking lot if anyone had a cigarette…this guy was fiending.  He finally comes back inside and tells other members that are waiting that he just wants a cigarette and coffee.

My other co-worker comes out to help this guy and takes him to his office.  After about 10 minutes of being in the office, he leaves.  I asked my co-worker what he wanted help with and he said and he said the guy asked for lawn mower parts.  My co-worker said “I’m sorry sir, this is a credit union, but there is an automotive store right across the street you can try.”  At some point during the conversation, my manager brought some medication for my co-worker that was helping him because his stomach wasn’t doing too well.  Then for some reason, the guy says, “here’s something that will help” and gives my co-worker some weird name brand condoms.  My co-worker was like, “uhm, I don’t think that will help” but the guy insisted.  He apparently also asked if he can throw something away in his trash can, my co-worker said yes, the guy throws away one thing, then pulls out a baggy with marijuana seeds in it.  My co-worker quickly told him “sir, you can’t throw those away in here, you’ll have to take those with you.”  Then that’s when my co-worker realized, there’s nothing he could help him with and said “alright, well you’re all set.”

When my co-worker told my other co-worker and myself what happened in the office, we were laughing so hard, we couldn’t contain ourselves.  I have no clue why we have these characters that come into my job, but it sure is amusing…as long as they don’t do anything crazy.

On another note, I saw the cutest thing on my way to school today that I couldn’t help but smile when I saw it.  The ducks that live in the pond on campus were crossing the street.  It was so adorable and I couldn’t help but snap a pic…

duckie xing :D

<333

So the original layout I had was one that I found that someone else made.  But even when I first started my blog adventure, I wanted to have my own layout with my personal touch.  After taking care of school bidness, I had some free time to play around and I decided to make my own theme.

As the days quickly pass and summer will soon turn into fall, along with a little inspiration…the new layout is dubbed: Summer to Fall <333

fresh layout: summer to fall --- 07.08.09