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Archive for August, 2009

Today marks the last day of summer for me and it’s back to school tomorrow.  This year so far has had many ups and downs and it amazes me how fast this year has come and is now almost done.  With experiences and situations that have occurred, I have come to realize who’s real, who’s fake, and those that have proved to me that they care about me and are truely genuine when they say that they are my friend.  So many people in a lifetime will walk in and out of your life, some will leave a mark and some will leave an experience.  Either way, they may or may not be in your life or important in the future.  There may be a person that was once close but then once their true colors show, it completely changes the relationship you have with them.  On the other hand, there may be someone that has always been behind the scenes and then later prove that they are truely genuine, humble, and turn out to be this amazing person that has been there the whole time.  But that’s just the way life is.

My main focus now remains the same: school.  Although I’ve been having some issues with getting all the financials situated so I can continue to attend and finish sooner rather than later, I know I still have to do my best and put all stresses aside to achieve a major goal in my life.  Work is busy busy and I’ve been trying to focus on a promotion and on being on my best behavior to ensure I’ll have a job to pay the bills.  Things tend to get a little stressful for me at times and I try to maintain but I know there are select few that I can go to for support or even just to get my mind off things and just have a good time.

My family is an amazing, crazy, fun bunch that once we’re together, it’s nothing but good times that we have.  All of it is drama free and you can just feel the happy vibe in the atmosphere.  I love my family very much and I’m glad they are the way they are.  My select friends that I associate myself with now, are an awesome few that I have my own bond with and I feel I can be myself around with no judgments.  I’m sure the people know who they are because I try to hang with them on the regular or at least communicate with them….they know I love em ^_^

All in all, life may have its issues, stresses, and whatnot, but I continue to try to keep my head up and not let the little things keep me down.  Which reminds me of a quote I recently said and I will use again to bring this to a close…

Life is too short to be sad, down, and worry about things that won’t matter later. That’s why I start my day off with a smile and I’m grateful that I have people in my life that truly care and I know will keep bad things away.

the regulars that keep me smiling <3

I constantly quote this song by The Roots on status updates and even in conversation. The song Clock With No Hands has so many meanings to me and I’ve been able to apply the lyrics to different situations in my life. This is one of the reasons why I love old school artists such as The Roots and many others of that time when they were poppin because of messages behind their music rather than the garbage we hear on the air today. So…since I love this song and I will forever quote it, I figured I would post it not only to express my love for it, but for your enjoyment as well.

Lyrics

[Black Thought]
Yeah, sitting in the staircase, holding back tears
Looking over mad years worth of photographs
Pictures of some places I ain’t never going back
Some people I used to love, why I ain’t show them that?
The skies was overcast, when I was sober last
My head is spinning, couldn’t tell you if it’s slow or fast
It’s starting to get too clear, I got to go and grass
To y’all it’s a shame but life is what we know it as
Waiting, navigating the plot, without plans
In the car, it’s hard to read as a clock with no hands
How your man’s goin’ get up and stop with no yams
All it take is one break, it could pop the program
Whether sinning or not, my back bending like I’m sentenced a lot
I feel some brothers is beginning to plot
It might have been a close friend I forgot
Who started up and ain’t remember to stop
I bet these niggaz going remember the shop

[Hook]
People think that I’m crazy, just cause I wanna be alone
You can’t depend on friends to help you in a squeeze
We all deal with shit on our own
And sometimes the beef can grow, get out of hand
Yeah, you know it gets full blown
I never said that you mean the world to me
Maybe it’s best that you never know

Yo, I’m like Malcom out the window with the weapon out
Searching for somehow to find a minute or the second now
Precious time is money that I ain’t got to mess about
Need it from the horse’s mouth or from my eye with less account
Lessons with my back to the wall, scoping my session out
Stay a little edgy at times when I ain’t stressing bout
Haters don’t know shit about me, they the ones that talk shit
Those that love me send it out, so I ain’t got to force quit
Cause I’m doing better now, don’t mean I never lost shit
I was married to a state of mind and I divorced it, man
I’m from where brothers moving product from the porches
People locking their doors, clutching to their crosses
The block hot by the law, there ain’t too many choices
So what I do is for y’all, there ain’t too many voices left
I watch my back, and watch my step
And I might forgive, but I will not forget come on

[Hook]

Yo, living in turbulent times
The blind leading the blind
Some call it evolution, some say intelligent design
You say you want a revolution, you out of your mizind
Your sons’ destitute, and their pops all in the prison
My man’s back in the jam, he like the back of my hand
He just attracted to scam, he right back in the can
I never sleepwalking, you dig
You get your shuteye
I’m on the first thing in, I’m leaving on the red-eye
My brother back in rehab, just had another relapse
But fin himself, it’s been like he’s been fighting an energy
Half telling me nobody true when they pretend to be that
So closer than friends, that’s where I keep my enemy at
To many parties concerned, it’s time to live it and learn
Until we’re able to grow, forever bridges we burn
My thoughts free as a bird, that’s just about to emerge
And every action is heard, it speaks louder than words, yo

[Hook]

July was a bit crazy for me and a lot happened throughout the month, in which, some events I will mention and others I choose to leave out.  I’m pretty much done with summer school, all I have left is a 3 page paper to write and have in by 6pm Tuesday.  I’m not stressing about it.  The class was an easy A and I’ve gotten nothing but A’s on everything I’ve turned in, except for 1 B, but I know I’m straight.

July 17-20 was an experience I will not forget.  Myself, my bestfriend Rich, and 2 good friends of mine went up to Boston, MA to visit our boy Skooby and see his baby.  The trip had it’s ups and downs but more ups than anything to make a trip that I will not forget.  I fell in love with the city life.  There was just something about it that captured my heart.  On our trip we made so many memories:  inside jokes, callin out all the Beemers we saw [because they were everywhere], walking around and exploring the city, eating delicious Chinese food from a hole-in-the-wall spot, drinks, Club Felt, chillin on the stoop, photoshoots, random conversations, singing songs, and it was just a great trip overall.

[[Big thanks to Ritchi who made it all possible! TY for everything you did for me!]]

Boston, MA

Falling in love with the city

Boston Crew: Shabbah, RPC, KC, & Pinkaay

Throughout July, I’ve also been working like a slave at work, trying to hustle my members to meet my goals.  At first I was worried I wouldn’t make my required points but I ended up exceeding the requirement and I will be looking forward to an extra $200 on the paycheck. :D

There are some people that have definately helped make my life easier and are helping me get back to my happy state that I was once in before.  I know who my real friends are and know who I need to keep near and dear to my heart.  I’ve had some minor issues with one of them, but we always seem to work them out.  Others have just shown me a great time and they fill my heart with joy when I am with them.  There has been unfortunate situations that occurred this past month that caused me to reflect on what has happened from now to a year ago, and let me tell you, a lot has happened.  It just really sucks that certain situations that have happened are preventing me from hanging out with other people that I’m cool with because I’m not really on good terms with select few.  The select few happened to be my main social circle last year which has now fallen apart but they are constantly with my other friends which leaves me as the oddball of the situation.  It really urks me, this whole situation, and I wish things didn’t have to be this way but there are valid reasons of why they did.  It is what it is, not much I can do.  I did nothing wrong in except for explain how I feel yet it came to this and now I’m the one that is suffering.  Ugh.

I’m tired of drama.  I’m just trying to enjoy life with the people I care about yet situations prevent me from doing so.

Time for a life check…time to go new places, experience new things, meet new people, and leave the past behind.  This girl is only moving forward, and the drama in the past can go fly a kite.